Tuesday, July 27, 2010

WARNING

Okay... So DO NOT READ THIS if you get queasy easily or don't want to hear a NASTY story...
I repeat.
DO NOT READ.
...
Okay, i gave you time to get out...
Here is how my day went yesterday...
I was running a few errands before picking up one of my besties at the train station...
I thought i would get on the internet for a bit...
Then i had to use the restroom so i tried and it was taking a while, i was embarassed. A lady was waiting and checked 3 times, no i was not done there is only one stall... so i got up and decided i would wait and let it come down on it's own...
I WARNED YOU!...
I sat down to use a computer and instantly realized that would not be a possibility.
I walked across the street to the gym because they have 2 stalls and i figured i would have a bit more anonymity there... little did i know...
I would be sitting there for 2 hours!!!
...RIGHT!
At the 45 minute mark i was thinking "Ew... but when i tell Nick i can ACTUALLY say i sat here for 42 minutes. NO JOKE"
At the hour mark i thought it was kind of funny in an extremely embarassing way... i thought "I will blog about this later... hehehe."
At the hour and a half mark i started to get scared.  I was now pushing so hard i would throw up, i had no strength, my arms and legs were shaking... i tried standing, i tried laying down nothing was helping. 
The baby had stopped kicking, when i ventured to take a look down south and pushed it looked like a bubble was forming, or a head.  I realized that none of this was run of the mill pregnancy constipation...
I called for the first girls who happened to venture into the bathroom at the gym, they didn't hear me.  Then the next set came... still didn't hear me.  Then finally one lady came in and as i shouted "Hello" in my frantic voice she came to my aid.  I asked her to call a doctor.  When she came back and asked why i needed a doctor i replied "I think i might be having my baby"... the urgency folks... i was scared!
The EMT's arrived and she said that my body was contracting and she saw some amniotic fluid on the floor... she also said it was very bad that i had been "pushing" for 2 hours...
GREAT FREAK ME OUT!
So they call the ambulance and the EMT's are telling the German EMT's (and Nick) that i am experiencing preterm labor and that if they can get me to the hospital fast enough they may be able to stop the contractions...
NO CONTRACTIONS FOLKS!
The baby was fine and still completely up and inside of my uterus. 
I did not leak amniotic fluid...
I just had one VERY LARGE poop.
It took me four hours folks...
THAT IS LABOR INTENSIVE.
I had pain killers, to IV bags full to...
POOP!
I think i would seriously win an award or get in some book if any of you had seen it.
I was pretty darn proud and thankful when all was said and done.
BUT, they kept me at the hospital to NOT monitor me all night. 
Oh blessings flowing abundantly.
And... the whole base heard about my baby coming out while i was straining myself at the gym...
wonderful.


7 comments:

  1. Oh my word! Girl! You need some FIBER! LOL I have never heard such a story. You are brave for sharing :) :)

    (I do think you are still in for a surprise as to what labor is like...but maybe this was good prep! LOL)

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  2. OMG Brittany! You are too funny! Wow, I never got constipated while I was prego. That seems like such an intense story! haha and I agree it is brave of you to post on the internet! hehe youre so funny.. thinking you willl blog about it later during the whole thing. LOL I do that too. :)

    Well Im very glad it wasnt the baby coming early and you and Jack are still healthy! :)

    PS (My grandpa would say you just gave birth to a 4 ound bouncing baby turd) haha

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  3. My friends have been calling it my poop baby. :( I HAVE been downing fiber! Dried apricots, broccoli, prunes... and still have this story to tell. I don't know what's up!

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  4. ohmygosh brittany. you JUST made my day. ha ha i am so sorry you had that kind of a scare...but it's reallllllly funny (: LOVING your belly!

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  5. This story is some kind of wonderful...in the worst way possible. Somehow you have mastered poop stories making you too cute. Congratulations.;)

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  6. Lol! Thanks everyone i am glad you don't think i am nasty... :)

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  7. i thought this was going to turn out like one of those "i didnt know i was pregnant" stories... when the baby comes out in the toilet... ahah ok realy i didnt but i enjoyed this story as much as those...

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